Or why you shouldn't date anyone who makes you want to throw your phone part 2
Maybe it's a cultural or geographical thing, but I was having a conversation with someone I didn't know well recently and he started a sentence with "My therapist said..." and a conversation ensued from there. A very long, one-sided conversation. I'm all for therapy if you need it however if I am considering dating you, I need not be privy to the nitty gritty details of your last ten sessions with said therapist. TRANSFERENCE anyone? Google it. Seriously. Dude.... Every other sentence should not begin with the word "therapist" or "therapy" or about how that hour a week is the highlight of your week. I don't need to know your deep dark issues. Truly, I've already been through and survived my own divorce and I don't wish to relive mine or endure yours. Period. A huge, HUGE difference exists between the requisite exchange of past dating histories and actually forcing another down your personal hell. Oh but there was more. He was apparently still lamenting the end of a relationship with his recent girlfriend, and his divorce wasn't finalized yet. Yet part of me having survived a painful divorce feels for anyone hurting, so my inner therapist patiently listened. I really tried.... Until I had that overwhelming urge to throw the phone... or beat myself about the head with the phone. (I'm now putting that inner empathetic, sympathetic therapist in time-out before I end up in therapy.) Instead I simply asked if he truly felt he was ready to be in a relationship. Answer: "My therapist says...." Seriously? I learned long ago that even when you think you're ready to date after divorce, you're not. You must heal, learn to be alone, to be still. Rebound people are labeled as such for a reason. Such a huge difference exists between need and want. Lonely and alone. I could only imagine the static cling involved, not to mention the headaches and replacement phones needed from pursuing a relationship with such a person. So, as an addendum to the previous rule beyond don't date anyone that makes you want to throw your phone; don't date anyone who thinks you are his substitute therapist and/or mother AND makes you want to throw your phone. Ouch my head hurts just thinking about it.... Can we say NEUROTIC?
Check out the YouTube video above featuring art by Mark Ryden, one of my all-time favorite co-dependent anthems. Greatness. We are learning so much about psychology today... xx
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